Film Edit Draft 2

Since the first draft of the edit, I have introduced the voice over and added a few more shots.

The voice over was reduced down due to the advice i received from the short film degree tutor. He told me to simply the narration, and let the visuals tell most of the story. This is so that the narration does not distract from the visuals but at the same time, the audience are given some information to contextualise what is going in the film. The script has changed since the last draft, as the lines as they were felt to overdramatic, which does not cohere to the serious subtle tone of the film.

The last draft lacked clarity as to which scenes were which. Graphics of the the scenes' title were placed into to give clarity to the audience of the narrative structure. This made the film easier to follow.

It was decided that footage had to be included that showed the driving force of the plot, which was family support in this instance. I took a medium shot of the character helping their mother in the garden. The one clips uses a shallow depth of field to connote a sense of disconnect of the main character with his family and the world around him. This shot was placed in just after the events of the shock scene to show a downwards direction for the character's emotional state. An identical shot was placed just after the 'Black Hole' scene but with a deeper field of depth which shows the image of the mother in the background more clearer. This shot is meant to mirror the other shot by using a deep field of depth to suggest that the main character is beginning to open up to the world again because of family support. These 2 clips have strengthened the narrative by outlining the emotional progression of the character, and the family intervention which drives the plot forward.

In order to create a form of narrative arc, which would convey a message to audience. I edited in one medium shot of a portrait of my father in just after the phone call. The other is the ending shot in which the portrait is taken down and replaced with a drawing that the character has made. The choice to include shots of a picture of the father was done as their was no context as to who had died. Therefore a simple picture of the father would be able to act as a strong visual marker for the audience as to what had happened. The ending shot is meant to act as a metaphor for the character accepting the loss of his father and replacing his grief with his passion for drawing things. This shows how the character has progressively changed their perspective on grief, to a point where they use it to create art. The drawing itself features a contrast between black and white and vibrant colour. This was made as a result of the day of the dead research, in which the art style for that event features the combination of monochrome and colour to connote a sense of balance of positivity and negativity surrounding death. This image i created was therefore the replacement for the picture of the father because is represents the balance between positive and negative emotions about grief. This message to consider both sides of grief is something which I hope the target audience of young adults in the same situation understand and will help them with coming to terms with grief in there own lives.